|
|
This page was created with BackpackBackpack is a tool that lets you easily build pages with lists, notes, images, and files. It's a great way to get organized, publish your ideas, and collaborate with others. You pick what's private and what's public. Sign up for your own free account in less than 10 seconds and get organized with Backpack! |
I’ve decided to start writing down things that I think of and update it and whatnot. Enjoy.
One of my favorite things to do is to substitute the word girl with the word squirrel in song lyrics. So for instance you have:
Carolina Squirrels (The best in the world)
Oh, Squirrel, I’d be in trouble if you left me now.
I need an around the way squirrel – LL Cool J
and of course, the ever present Hot Boy$ with “I need a hot squirrel”
These are all conversations I had with people at my last job:
[16:02] Mary Kay: I told Brian and Arnie
[16:02] Mary Kay: they are all for it
[16:02] Josh: is brian the sales guy
[16:02] Mary Kay: nope
[16:03] Mary Kay: graphics
[16:03] Josh: i don’t think i know him
[16:03] Mary Kay: nope
[16:03] Josh: and frankly he sounds “made up”
[16:03] Mary Kay: LOL
[16:03] Josh: that’s ok, we cater to everyone on party day
[16:03] Josh: even the non real
[16:03] Josh: or fakies as i call them
[14:38] Erica: then don’t tell her
[14:39] Erica: i’m going around 8:30
[14:39] Josh: then she’ll be happily suprised
[14:39] Erica: yes, i’m sure she’d be happy to see you
[14:39] Josh: well let’s be honest, who isn’t
[14:40] Erica: lol
[14:40] Josh: that’s why this mirror is so nice
- [14:05] Josh: i was at lunch
(Battle Bear was my childhood teddybear)[15:50] Julie: that’s not what chris said….
[15:50] Julie: he said you were in the bathroom…
[15:50] Josh: yeah
[15:50] Josh: what do you think i ate
[15:51] Josh: it was both bathroom and lunch
[15:51] Julie: ok
[15:51] Julie: that’s just uncalled for
[15:51] Josh: what
[15:51] Josh: there’s a little bistro in there
[15:43] Julie: he’s mine now
[15:43] Josh: i think he needs a song
[15:43] Josh: he’s still at my house
[15:43] Julie: that’s what you think
[15:44] Josh: (in my bed)
[15:45] Josh: he’s still protecting me after all these years
[15:46] Julie: that’s what you think
[15:47] Josh: what are you suggesting? he’s trying to kill me? you’ve swapped him with a replacement and he’s trying to kill me?
[15:47] Julie: you are one smart cookie
[15:50] Josh: which one? him or the replacement?
[15:50] Josh: cause if it’s him…
[15:50] Josh: well my world would no longer make sense
[15:51] Julie: your world hasn’t made sense for quite a time now
[16:28] Julie: I wanna lick em
[16:28] Josh: well they’re hard to look at
[16:29] Julie: haha
[16:29] Josh: the dreams are bad enough
[16:29] Josh: i mean that girl, get out of my dreams
[16:30] Josh: and into my car
[16:30] Julie: ooooooooooohhhh yeahhhhhhh
[16:30] Josh: get in the backseat baybe
[16:32] Julie: I love that jam
[16:33] Josh: yeah
[16:33] Josh: it’s timeless
[16:33] Julie: clutch
[16:34] Josh: sometimes i’m having a bad day, and i get home and turn on that song, and let billy ocean wash all of my cares away
[11:45] Josh: they don’t have to build shelters or anything
[11:45] Josh: or even do tricks or entertain us
[11:45] Chris: true
[11:45] Josh: but it sort of is terrible too
[11:45] Josh: not much fun
[11:45] Josh: but easy
[11:46] Josh: so i’ve decided to attach fish food to the fish so they can duke it out
[11:46] Josh: like in the animal kingdom
[16:22] Josh: fyi
[16:22] Chris: ok
[16:22] Josh: a little josh factoid
[14:57] Greg: :(
[14:58] Greg: i think you know what to do at the next lunch and learn
[14:58] Josh: i explained it to him through the song
[15:03] Greg: did he get it?
[15:03] Josh: i don’t think so
[15:03] Josh: he “doesn’t have a dog”
[15:03] Josh: to eat his homework
[15:04] Greg: it’s hard to sum up the sbtb experience in 30 seconds
[15:04] Josh: true dat
[15:05] Greg: you should interrupt conversations with him to talk to an invisible cameraman
[15:05] Greg: maybe that will help
[15:46] Erica: no
[15:46] Josh: i can’t work like this
[15:46] Erica: there’s candy in the vending machine
[15:47] Erica: you can work just fine
[15:47] Josh: they can’t tease us with candy and just take it from us
[15:47] Erica: it was halloween
[15:47] Josh: we need more closely spaced free candy hollidays
[15:48] Josh: i’m going to start a union
[15:55] Josh: so are you with the candy holliday union?
[15:56] Erica: i love candy, but if it were here all the time, it wouldn’t be special
[15:56] Josh: SCAB!
[16:57] Greg: that’s exactly why i never used that stall
[16:57] Greg: i can’t think of a worse nightmare scenario
[16:57] Josh: but it’s also said to be the cleanest
[16:57] Josh: because everyone goes for the far one
[16:57] Greg: well of course it’s the cleanest
[16:58] Greg: who the hell would use it
[16:58] Josh: i use it
[16:58] Josh: and that’s my biggest fear
[16:58] Greg: maybe you can board up that one side
[16:58] Josh: good point
[16:59] Josh: that stall could still pee on your feet in the other stall
[16:59] Greg: or vice versa
[16:59] Josh: yeah
[16:59] Greg: no one is safe
[17:01] Greg: i got out of there just in time
[17:01] Josh: why’s that
[17:02] Greg: i just got new shoes for one
[17:02] Josh: well this is all theoretical
[17:03] Josh: instead of quitting i’ll probably just enact this plan
[17:03] Greg: see
[17:03] Greg: i’ll bet you’re not the only one thinking that
[17:03] Greg: who’s to say one of the sales guys wouldn’t do that to me on their last day because i didn’t give them a new laptop
[17:03] Josh: lets be real, who else would think of this?
[17:03] Josh: Gloria?
[17:04] Greg: maybe but she is not a threat
[17:04] Josh: or is she
[17:04] Josh: great aliby
[17:04] Greg: hmmmmmmmm
[17:06] Greg: i just can’t see that happening
[17:06] Josh: she’d do the leg lift
[17:06] Greg: i was perfectly happy not seeing it happening
[17:06] Josh: guy dogs do it, but girl humans do it. interesting…quite.
[17:07] Greg: whaaaa
[17:07] Greg: i’m not sure that’s accurate
[17:08] Josh: if they want to pee on something i think it is
[17:09] Greg: but how often does that really happen
[17:09] Greg: the only time i’ve ever heard of something like that is a lady peeing on a laptop and sending it in for repair
[17:10] Josh: well there you go
[17:10] Josh: she probably went with the stradle though
[17:10] Josh: depends on the angle they need really
[17:10] Greg: i think you’re right
[12:20] Josh: maybe some mlk day cookies?
[12:20] Josh: you know like a black and white cookie living in harmony
[12:21] Josh: or i guess chocolate chip will work
[12:21] Josh: any of those around here?
[12:33] Erica: there are bakeries that make such things
[12:34] Josh: strangers?
[12:34] Josh: that sounds scary
[12:35] Erica: i’ll be out of town all weekend and my kitchen may be torn apart anyway by the time I get home, otherwise i’ll tell you to get me the ingredients and a recipe and i’d make you cookies just this one time
[12:35] Josh: what is the company policy on mlk day?
[12:35] Josh: is it a flex or what?
[12:35] Josh: i’d rather have friday off
[12:35] Erica: we don’t get it off
[12:36] Josh: that’s kooky talk
[14:05] Josh: i have an insatiable appetite for cookies
[14:07] Erica: at harris teeter, they’re buy one get one free
[14:07] Erica: go get some
[14:07] Erica: i’m hungry
[14:07] Josh: if i go to harris teeter, i’ll just get free cookies
[14:07] Josh: from the little dinosaur
[09:08] Josh: i went to the break room, and what did I see?
[09:09] Josh: for not a single cookie, looking back at me.
[09:09] Emily: well I didn’t get any candy
[09:09] Emily: or the day off
[09:09] Emily: ......
[09:10] Josh: no spirit for the holiday
[09:10] Josh: racist
[09:11] Emily: ummmmm….okay…
[09:12] Josh: so if you want to be a racist, and not celebrate mlk jr. day, that is your deal
[09:12] Emily: okay sure thing
[09:14] Emily: but that is def not true at all
[09:14] Josh: i don’t see any cookies to back up your non racism claim
[09:14] Josh: but hey that is your perogative
[14:32] Josh: chris brought me a mlk day brownie
[14:32] Josh: nice to see somebody celebrates this great day